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Mademoiselle Clara
Clatjw | 陈俊微。

I hope 5 years down the road this will be the avenue I will look back on.

Advertising and Public Relations,
Ngee Ann Polytechnic

clatjw@gmail.com


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Waiting
Wednesday, April 30, 2014 ▪ 11:03 PM


Today I went home and from the dining table I saw a big A4 envelope and I was still beaming with a glimpse of hope that it will be my acceptance letter to a local university... 

I walked over and saw a NTU envelope and it was already opened and I thought "this is gonna be a rejection letter" because if it is alr opened, and IF I got in, my parents will call me instantly but they didn't. 

When I flipped it over, I saw the letter was addressed to my uncle and they just wanted to thank him for being a donor. At the moment I teared, not because of relief but because I've been waiting for my letter for too long and every day I will carry a hope that today will be the day I receive the letter. 

Getting an average 3.66 GPA, it is good but definitely not good enough. 

When can I receive my acceptance letter?

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To be contended
Sunday, April 27, 2014 ▪ 10:35 AM


I wrote this a month ago in 21 march 2014,

My final GPA results are out today and I did well but I was expecting more. I was telling my dad how annoyed I was that I didn't get the grade I wanted. My dad just told me firmly and strictly "you should be contended with whatever you got." And on my way to KI today, I just kept asking myself "what is the meaning of being contended in life?" I honestly thought it will be a question without an answer. 

During the end of the second sermon today just worshipping The Lord. God gave me a revelation of what being contended is - it is to be thankful. God told me to be thankful of what I've learnt in internship and to be GRATEFUL of what God has given (the opportunities and blessings). 

Then I realised I haven't thank God for my grades and I repented and quickly gave God the praise!  (: 

KI is so amazing and if you guys can come, come tonight and be blessed by the presence of God!

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Obedience is Tough
Friday, April 25, 2014 ▪ 2:52 AM


As I am waiting for stuff to be transferred to my hard-disc (2 hours T_T), I shall take this time to blog about mission trip. I don't know if I've mentioned it before but back in 2013 December, I was just sitting alone in my Shanghai's apartment dining room and I just felt so 'mission trip sick'. You know homesick? yeah... mission trip sick. haha. So i told God if finances allow, I will really wanna go back to Philippines again. 

Feb 2014 came, and jere asked if I would like to join! I was contemplating if I should go because every trip will be different and I did enjoyed myself back in 2013 because I bonded with my cellgroup and all and I was afraid that this time round will be different because none of my cg members are able to make it and I will be going with new friends. like really new. 

The second thing that really made me think twice about going to MT was really about finance. I've spent a HUGE sum of my savings in shanghai and my parents really sponsored a fair bit during my stint in Shanghai and I don't wanna be a burden to them just because I wanna go another overseas trip. And during Jan 2014, I've made up my mind to save up for a DSLR -  after all this is one of the passion I always had since Secondary 3 and I've never had chance to really pursue that interest so I was so determined to save up. And the DSLR issue was the reason that made me not want to join in the first place. But one day God just spoke to me - "Who is more important? Me or the DSLR?' 

At the moment I knew the answer. After all, money can be earned and saved once again. Just like that, I replied a 'yes' and I paid $480 for my ticket. FOR.THE.FIRST.TIME. *heart pain* 

The theme for this year's camp is 'Worship'. And obviously when I heard "worship" I was like "uh oh, this is so not my thing" and I began to have doubts about whether I am able to contribute much in the trip. The insecurities was so bad and negative thoughts just flooded my mind. I remember crying because I was afraid that I won't belong there but God has His way of assuring people. I remember during KI2014 sermon as I was still battling these thoughts in my mind, Bill Johnson preached "God doesn't called those who are qualified, He called those who are available." and at the moment there was a divine intervention of peace. Amazing how God assures people! 

So here we go!!! :) 


Group selfie before we flew! (:

So this is one of the few halls that our church built in the campsite and it is so pretty now! Last year when I was there, the campsite did not have any tiles! It was just plain cement ground! But God provides the resources - if i remember correctly they took scrapes of tiles and pieced it together :) now we have a gorgeous looking hall! Even when you are broken, God can piece you back together. 


More and more people started to arrive to the campsite :) 

Our first trio photo in the cornfield! I really enjoyed talking to them during the trip! such good conversationalists!!! 

Awesome drummer from Dumangas church! 

 Darkness can't stay here any longer.  

We are well-fed during the mission trip! 



This is Day 2 when i taught them about Revelation 4. I do had my doubts if they understood anything about the throne room of heaven but when I saw their drawings of Rev 4, I was really proud and happy that right now they have a clearer picture of what heaven looks like. I guess one thing I could have done better was that I should have divided them into smaller groups. This will allow the campers to be a more active participant rather than a spectator. 

 



The kids have their fun time too - An inflatable pool!


The love to take photos! 


Day 3: 

With Isaac and Joan

The heart that matters.
 

"I surrender."


Such beautiful kids! 

That day i witnessed the most breathtaking sunset! It would have been even nicer if jere was there but :(.
 Isn't it weird to see an incomplete group photo? :/ can we just pretend he took the photos? : |




I would like you to focus on the picture on the left. You see a kid smiling so happily and the other was frowning? That's because he was bitten by red ants and it is so painful that his friend was laughing at him! haha! I am glad I captured this moment :) 
 

 The last night of camp and the committee invited a guest speaker. I shall now elaborate further but all I can say her sermon entertained us quite a lot. hahahahaha



 The last night staying in the campsite. I loved that night because I felt so comfortable with her that I dare to open up and sing. I know I am not tone deaf but I always say it as an excuse because I hate it when I have to sing. I know this is a very bad issue that I have to improve on further/ overcome.  However, if  you compared me with last time, there is a difference. One of the key contributing factors on why I dare to sing more now was because of my karaoke sessions in China! hahahahahha. That night was truly a great time of fellowship (: 
 

After an hour of sing singspiration, Isaac joined us!

Isaac can really make a girl swoon! lol no joke!!! 


Day 4: Last day of camp!

 I will definitely miss this boy. I wanted to buy him coke but he left during the time i had lunch :(  I should have bought him coke before I went for lunch. 

We took a lot of photos with the youths that day!

Selfie :D


FINALLY a really nice group shot.


That night we stayed at the hotel and it was great being a roommate with joan! After our debrief that night that ended around 12am, Joan and I went back and we continued to talked about anything under sun, mostly personal for 3.5 hours straight. (: I just felt so blessed by her presence and advice that night. 

Day 5: Last day

That day we had some free and easy time and it was also the day I dropped my camera into the sea. hahahaha

Look at this cut out ad! hahahah she is so cute!!! 

 Group shot with uncle Kenneth!

The youths who brought us out that day :)  I loved the fact that the filipinos are REALLY sincere in wanting to make friends, fostering a good friendship.

 Seeing their standard of living has always reminded me how blessed I truly am to be born in my family and to be born in Singapore but look at how happy they are with what little they have! They just need a wooden plank and a sea and look at the fun they are having! 


In a blink of an eye, I am back in Singapore again. Time flies! During the night of debrief, I was sharing how I felt that this trip was not as great as last year's because I didn't experienced God as much as I want to and in a way I felt "shortchanged".  Partly it was my fault because I did not set a list of expectations I would like to achieve and I don't know what are my goals.... you get what I mean? but during the night, Jeremy told me something that struck a chord in my heart "It is not that you didn't learn anything but you just didn't see it yet. i think what you have learnt is......" and he proceeded saying "Obedience is tough

and that made me teared a little that night, as I am typing this I have tears welled up in my eyes because that is so true. Obedience is tough. Maybe this is one of the reasons why God gave me the opportunity to be in this year's mission trip - to learn a lesson that will forever etched in my heart. I need to be reminded constantly that I have a Master to serve and times like these when He challenges me, it is tough but I must believe He has a greater plan for me. It is like the concept when you were younger, your parents will keep scolding you, asking you not to do this or that. And we get annoyed, angry at them but the reason why they scolded us was because they knew what was the best for us. And in the same way, God knows even better what is the BEST for us. 

There's so much more I need to improve on and so much to surrender to him and if I sleep well today, it will mark my 9th day of being free. He has been telling 6 months is all I needed and I have been compromising so much in the past month. This is the time to make it right again.

I do see Him changing and moulding my mindset slowly once again and letting it be aligned with Kingdom visions. I just hope the fire won't die down soon and I hope one day I will be a good ambassador for Him. I want Him to be my Potter, forever. 

Looking back, I truly enjoyed myself there. Hands Down. 

The moon and stars they wept
The morning sun was dead
The Savior of the world was fallen
His body on the cross
His blood poured out for us
The weight of every curse upon Him

One final breath He gave
As heaven looked away
The Son of God was laid in darkness
A battle in the grave
The war on death was waged
The power of hell forever broken

The ground began to shake
The stone was rolled away
His perfect love could not be overcome
Now death where is your sting?
Our resurrected King
Has rendered you defeated

Forever He is glorified
Forever He is lifted high
Forever He is risen
He is alive, He is alive




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yay, I've been typing this for about 2 1/2 hours! Now I am only left with 4 minutes of file transferring! SHAKABABA!!!!


Till then :) 

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